


Variations on a Theme in Copper

by The_Whistler



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Other, transgender robot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whistler/pseuds/The_Whistler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rabbit was just one of the guys... well, as long as the guys were made of metal. He served in two world wars and the Vietnam Conflict alongside battle-hardened soldiers as well as his automaton brothers. He could cuss with the best, or worst of them, and knew his way around a dirty joke better than he knew his way around the loose women he and his fellow soldiers were joking about.</p><p>Who would have known that he'd never been intended to be one of the guys at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Variations on a Theme in Copper

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Christmas present to myself. But I share it! I was wondering why Rabbit wouldn't have said he was a she... I mean, that she was... ugh. Fact is, Rabbit, as The Spine once put it with Upgrade, is a robot that looks like a girl. So Colonel Walter would have thought nothing of switching and expecting that to be that. And in a way, he was right...
> 
> So what finally happened? That's what I thought would be fun to explore.
> 
> And remember, decommissioned Walter Girls are canon for their particular times...  
> Oh... and the song Rabbit is singing... right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyhcLFtee4o 
> 
> It actually was part of the inspiration for the story. There was just something about Rabbit crooning it while Peter squirms. My daughter says I like making Peter VI uncomfortable.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer here: my headcanon, very not canon. And this really isn't a story about transgender issues since it's taking the approach that Rabbit is a robot and the programming is responsible for her self-image... and can be changed at will.

Walter Manor, 1897 -

"Thaddeus... you fool. You damned fool!"

Col Walter threw the telegram onto the workbench and ran his hands irritably through his already tousled hair, knocking his goggles askew. Of all the times for it... just when he was starting to feel again after Delilah's death, when his work was progressing so well! He took off the goggles and sighed.

"Is there some trouble, sir?"

"Hm?" He turned to see a copper automaton looking at him with blank green eyes. "Oh, Rabbit. I'm afraid... yes. I've tried to stay out of it but there's nothing for it. The man who was here earlier convinced me, but... it's worse than even he said. There's no time to lose."

"Is time something one can lose, sir?"

"Not really... never mind. Rabbit, please bring the other automatons. I am going to have to make changes to your directives and equipment. I regret that the delicate adjustments I've made these months will be unnecessary now. Well, possibly when we return... We'll see."

"I comply, sir."

Col Walter watched the automaton methodically ascending the stairs and turned back to the stove robot he was building. He had tried to train himself to think of Rabbit as a female, but until the chassis was in place, it was difficult. Rabbit, for one thing, was nearly as tall as he was... but this was unavoidable. His crafting skills might someday allow for a more dainty design... And she didn't speak like a woman. The vocal assembly was still set to full range, and her speech patterns were rigid, modeled after her creator, if anyone. And he had made sure to speak precisely for her benefit as she learned. He'd installed a program just the day before, to direct her toward female influences, with the purpose of gleaning and emulating their behaviors. He just hoped that more time speaking with the maids would teach Rabbit the feminine tones required for her design.

The three automatons descended, their steps perfectly synchronized. Even Three, who had numerous curiously human qualities since its sudden activation, stepped along with the others... left... right... left... Possibly a good thing, since now they were all obliged to leave off being musicians and take up being soldiers.

"I have called for you to be retrofitted with weapons. There is a great wrong occurring and you will help right it. I know you are all new, and have no battle experience, but I can program your brains with an understanding of fighting techniques. What's more, you are stronger than humans. You are best prepared to fight the copper elephants, of any being on earth. But I don't wish to force any of you. Please, if you are willing to stop Thaddeus Becile from stealing rock candy..."

He hesitated. It sounded so preposterous! But if left unchecked, it could mean the deaths of many more people...

"If you are willing to risk your own destruction to stop him from harming human beings, step forward."

The tallest automaton, called The Spine, stepped forward. "Sir, I will go."

The eldest, Rabbit, flicked a most human glance at him and hastily stepped forward. "I will go, too, sir!"

"Me too!" cried Three, joining them.

On the work table, a monotone voice buzzed, "I will go, sir."

The colonel jumped. He had forgotten that the new automaton was online.

"Good. I am very proud of you all." He saw the barest shift in their stances... they almost seemed pleased at his response. He knew they were sentient, but to feel pride at their creator's praise... no, it was ridiculous. He was just overtired...

He put each onto a separate table, hesitating over Rabbit. She still looked male... well, _not female_ would be more precise. To install her weapons would require a larger shoulder assembly to provide the needed structural support. Though he had fashioned her hips to be slightly wider than The Spine's, she had no other indication of femininity. Certainly not her personality... He decided to deactivate the feminine emulation protocols until needed and install a separate program. She would, in effect, be male; as much as they were, at least. The width of the hips was not significant, especially paired with broader shoulders. And her height would work for her rather than against... Meanwhile, if he left it in place, it would continue to accumulate data from every female Rabbit met. He could then reconnect it and her processor would gradually implement the accumulated data.

"Sir, what happens now?" she asked, looking up at him with blank eyes.

"Shut down, all of you. When you reactivate, you will have new directives."

"Yes, sir," they replied as one.

The Spine shut down promptly. The new robot on the work table buzzed softly and fell silent. Three played with his fingers until the colonel cleared his throat. But Rabbit still looked up at him.

"Shut down, Rabbit," he said gently.

She caught hold of his coat. "I..."

"Yes?"

"Are we going to be well?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"We are going to battle. Will we be well, sir?"

"I... I hope so, Rabbit."

"I trust you, sir." Rabbit shut down.

Col Walter stared at her, placing her limp hand on the table. "I hope your trust is well-founded, Rabbit."

 

By the time they returned from Africa, much had changed... as much with the robots themselves as it had at home.

Iris, the maid, was pregnant. And Colonel Peter Walter was the father. He had no doubt about that... he certainly had acted in such a way as to be a candidate. He guiltily tried to suggest "taking care of matters" and received tears and outrage in response. And he apologized, relieved. He'd suggested it for the sake of her reputation... he was rather moved at the thought of being a father, after the incidents on the battlefield with his robotic children.

Her refusal left only one solution, one he embraced now wholeheartedly. They were married as quickly as the law allowed. And he soon found himself up to his cowlick in feminine mood swings. Such that he made a choice, not long after their return, about Rabbit.

He had removed most of the weapons from each of the surviving automatons. They were tragically few; the copper elephants had incorporated salvaged metals from defeated robots into their chassis, and he refused to use any metal even briefly connected with a copper elephant. In the end, four automatons remained.

Rabbit had insisted her... no, _his_ brothers... go first. This was one of the changes. They _were_ now brothers, bound by a shared origin and shared battle experience, and the colonel was now treated as their father. And Rabbit, set with the same emulation protocols as The Spine, had taken on a bit of a masculine swagger, as well as the same masculine tone. The colonel could only assume that the feminine protocols would have worked equally well, given the time, but as it was... Rabbit had spent a lot of time with the crew of the freighter, learning swear words even his Pappy hadn't heard before. He was rough and tumble, thoroughly boyish, beyond any of the other automatons. While Iris had pointed out that her older sister had always been a tomboy, Col Walter didn't see any way to turn this around. Tomboyish femininity would not be enough to overcome the effect of the tall, sturdy build of the automaton. He would have to erase everything Rabbit was and start over!

Or, he mused as he looked into the automaton's now green and blue eyes while strapping him to the work table, he could just leave him the way he was. A trio of male robots would work just as well, and they could sing the same songs, with the right adjustments.

"Rabbit?" he began as he removed the saw blade.

"Yeah, Pappy?" Rabbit said casually.

How much had changed! Rabbit must have fallen in with someone from New Jersey on that freighter... "I wonder... do you like being... masculine?"

Rabbit smiled a lopsided smile. He'd have to try and fix that... "Y-y-you think I'm masculine, Pappy?"

The stutter didn't make him happy either. One too many blasts to the head...

"Do you think you are?"

"Sure do! More of a man than that giant little brother of mine!"

"Is that the only reason you... You're not in competition with The Spine, Rabbit. I... I love you as you are."

"Aw, Pappy..." Rabbit said coyly, grinning.

"Right..." Somewhere between masculine and feminine, really... Of course, he could just reconnect the emulator... But if Rabbit was content... "Do you want to have a feminine form? That's what I really want to know."

"Huh? Why?"

"Well..."

He looked Rabbit up and down. He was wearing one of the colonel's old outfits, black trousers with a smart shirt and vest. It was really very becoming.

"I just thought I'd offer. As an automaton, you have a choice."

"I'm fine the way I am."

"Alright, so be it."

He finished the adjustments and disconnected the output wire from the femininity protocol to keep it isolated; removing it now could result in memory loss. A touch of solder and the wire was covered by a small plate. He then made plans to fit Rabbit with a proper chassis, similar to The Spine's.

So much for his feminine automaton. Oh, well. He'd make a female robot later. Maybe. The way Iris was behaving, he really had no regrets about the change. One woman in the manor was more than enough for him.

 

2010 -

 

"Why do you always put up a fight, Rabbit?"

"Why do you always whine like a little baby?"

"Don't be petty..." Peter Walter VI muttered.

"You first!"

"Rabbit..." The Spine said warningly, looking up from a Raymond Chandler novel.

Rabbit shut his mouth and sulked, glaring at Peter the entire time he was working. And how those eyes could bore into you... but Peter stood firm, with the help of The Spine. Maintenance was important, but you couldn't tell Rabbit that. He put up a fight every time.

But he couldn't get away with it these days. His structure was loose, such that he rattled and buzzed when he walked. He had to be oiled regularly or he'd literally fall apart. And that stutter! Peter, despite decades of Walters attempting the same, resolved to try and find the source and correct it.

He popped open Rabbit's skull and peered inside. Nothing out of place, same as always, except...

"Rabbit?" he said, holding a hand out to Breanna. She handed him a screwdriver as though he'd asked for it. Paige gave him a cloth. "Have you figured out yet what this little cap is doing in here? It bothers me still... it looks like its blocking something..."

"Dunno."

Rabbit, having been cornered and strapped down, was now trying to pretend that it had been his idea all along. He looking absently up at the light.

"Only it's got corrosion. I think maybe what's under it is causing your stutter." Peter applied the screwdriver to the soldered edge of the metal covering and pressed gently. It popped loose and he used the cloth to remove it. There was a wire beneath it that appeared to have come loose.

"This must be it," he murmured. He gently plugged the little prongs into the matching port.

"Hey!" Rabbit roared. "Don't y-y-y-y-you mess with my... ay... ay... ay...ayyyyyyyzzzzzz..."

His voice became a buzz. Rabbit's head dropped abruptly.

"Rabbit?" The Spine cried, looking up from his book worriedly.

Rabbit's head popped back up in the next second. He blinked... he was staring up at the Walter Girls.

"Rabbit!" The Spine pressed.

"What?" Rabbit snapped irritably.

"Never mind. Watch what you're doing, Peter." He rolled his eyes and returned to his book.

Peter looked at the chip in Rabbit's brain. "Well, say something. Let's see if that repaired the stutter."

"Whaddya w-w-w-w-want me to say, laughing boy?"

"And no. I was sure that was it! I mean, it's been under there where no one could see it for who knows how long and... Well, it wasn't it, anyway. I wonder what it was... It looks like an emulator chip, but you already have that... Weird."

"Whatever." He blew a puff of steam idly and started humming softly.

"Since you're nearly done, I'll be heading up to practice the new set," The Spine said, getting up to leave. "Miss Breanna, will you be my audience? I always prefer to test a song on an objective listener..."

Peter and Paige grinned at each other as the two left. Rabbit was staring at Paige again.

"I... uh... think I'll go get us some lunch, okay?" she said, bemused, after a few minutes of this. Rabbit watched her walk out.

"She's pretty, huh?" Peter asked with a smirk.

"Is she?" Rabbit looked up at the light again. He resumed his humming.

Peter finished oiling Rabbit, wondering what the song was. It wasn't one of the band's set...

"It's a wonder, wonder woman..." Rabbit crooned softly.

"What?"  
  
"You're so wild and wonderful, 'cause it seems whenever we're together the planets all stand still..."

"What is that?"

"Huh? Oh... it's an old movie theme..."

"Oh..."

Rabbit continued humming, a mysterious smile on his face. He sounded so content, almost purring. He wriggled a little and let out a very vocal sigh.

"Rabbit? You okay?"

"Fabulous..." Rabbit breathed. He started singing again. "Barbarella psychadela,,, There's a kind of cockle-shell about you..."  
  
"Oh, it's from Barbarella... That was a weird one."  
  
"Dazzle me with rainbow colors, fade away the duller shade of living..."

"I didn't knock anything loose, did I? You sound a bit different."

Rabbit hummed and tugged at his arms. "Can I get out now?" he asked smoothly.

"I haven't finished."

"Pretty please?" he said with a little flutter of his eyelids.

"What? No, let me finish!"

Rabbit stuck out his lip and scowled. "Blowhard."

"Hey!"

"Ugh! Sorry," Rabbit muttered, sounding not a bit repentant.

Peter hastily finished wiping Rabbit's shoulder and began to open his trousers to start oiling his hips.

"Hey!" Rabbit barked.

"What now?"

"Gently..." Rabbit murmured with a wink. "I'm fragile."

"Very funny." Peter adjusted the table, tipping Rabbit to one side slightly, and tugged the slacks down enough to access the joint, troubled by the little giggle this drew from the automaton. "If you weren't so stubborn, we could have gotten you out of these clothes first."

"Oh, you _wish_ ," Rabbit said with a smirk.

"Well, yeah, it would be easier..." What was with Rabbit all of a sudden?

"That feels nice," Rabbit murmured, tucking one hand under his head and sticking out his hip. With his free hand he slid the slacks down a few more inches.

"Oh, it... um, what?"

"I hadn't realized. I really should get maintenance more often." He wriggled again and the pants slipped down a little further. He smiled sidelong at Peter. "You have very gentle hands."

He started humming again as Peter resumed oiling with a deep feeling of discomfort.

"Get me up high, teach me to fly, electrify my life with starry lights above the stratosphere, bring your dearness near..." Rabbit sighed deeply. "A little to the left, Petes...

"I don't think I want to..." Peter said, leaning away.

Paige returned with sandwiches. "Everything okay?"

"Hey, baby..." Rabbit crooned. "Come for the show?"

She snickered. "Did you have to suppress his motor controls again? He sounds drunk. He's having way too much fun, anyway."

 _You said it..._ Peter took her hastily aside.

"Something's not right!" he hissed as Rabbit resumed singing. "He's acting like... like... I dunno, like Catwoman!"

"He's what? Do you mean that little wiggle..."

"It's more than that, he's suddenly... kinda feminine... not the good kind!"

She snorted. "You mean he's acting slutty?" she giggled.

"Still I'm dyin' girl to hold you and make loooove..." Rabbit sang happily to the cabinet facing him.

Paige clapped her hand over her mouth and trembled with laughter.

"Let's just get this over with," Peter sighed irritably.

They completed the work and Peter reluctantly removed the restraints. Rabbit, now fully dressed, got up and stretched like a cat, then wiggled in his usual way... or maybe not so usual. There was an added bump to it, a fluidity Peter could have sworn wasn't there before. He used to wiggle his hips like Elvis back in the 1950s and had even gotten into trouble for it... now he was rippling like a belly dancer!

"Oooo... what an oil job can do for a body!" he sighed luxuriously.

"Whoa, nice moves there, Rabbit!" Paige laughed.

With one arm, Rabbit swept her close to him and purred, "Wanna lambada?"

"Put her down, Rabbit!" That was nothing new, Rabbit was always a flirt. What was troubling was that Peter was pretty sure Rabbit _could_ lambada now...

Rabbit giggled and let her go. He winked broadly at both of them. "See ya in the fu-fu-funny pages," he said silkily as he walked out. Paige stared after him, her cheeks blue and flushed.

"What was that..."

"Didn't I tell you?" Peter cried. "And I didn't even fix the danged stutter..."

"Well, it seems harmless enough..." she said breathlessly.

"Uh-huh." She seemed a little biased. "And if he does that on stage? That... that wiggle?"

"The female fans will go nuts..." she breathed. "Some of them, anyway. And some of the men, come to think of it."

"I need to talk to my dad..."

 "About the technical issues?"

"That, and... I don't think I'm old enough for this..."

 "Oh, Peter!" She picked up her sandwich and said, "I'm just... gonna go see what Rabbit's doing now. I mean, to see if he does anything else funny."

"Uh-huh."

 

2011 -

 

"You want what?" Sam cried.

"A new vest... what's wrong with that?"

"Rabbit... I don't mean the vest. I mean... everything else!"

Rabbit folded his arms with a clank. One shoulder shook and resettled into its fittings. "Ya got a problem with it?"

Sam blinked at him. "I think I just said that..."

"Oh, Saaaam..." called a plaintive voice.

"Pick it up yourself, Jon! For crying out loud, you can bend at the waist!" Sam sighed and looked sidelong at Rabbit. "I'll have to ask Peter V. He's the moneybags around here..."

"Alright, let's go ask him!"

Sam led the way. Like things weren't nuts enough around here, what with those twins from high school coming to work for the Walters. And then the Blue Matter accident... He was only just getting used to calling Bunny a "her" and learning enough sign language to understand him... her, and now Rabbit was starting to act like a stripper!

They explained Rabbit's request to an astonished Peter V. Despite the way his eyes seemed to vanish into his head any time his wife was elsewhere, Sam could feel his stare.

"A corset back?" Five said blankly. "Corset... Isn't that underwear?"

"It's a Steampunk thing," Sam sighed. He'd meant for Five to have his back, shouting down Rabbit, but somehow it had ended up with Sam explaining and even unwittingly supporting Rabbit's design. "They wear them on the outside. So are the high suspenders... But they're usually worn by..."

"Oh, well, Rabbit's due for a change of costume now that the boys are getting popular again. Sure, let's call the tailor and see if she can do it."

Sam gaped. How? Rabbit was hopping gleefully and making the floor shudder. He goosed Sam with one hand. 

"Hey!" Sam shrieked, slapping at him. Rabbit giggled and tickled him under the chin. Five was staring at them again.

"That's new..." he murmured.

"I'll call her later, okay?" Sam fled with a glare at Rabbit and a nod to Five and went to gripe to Michael and Steve. The Walters were _not_ paying him enough.

 

2012 -

"I only saw her once, but that was all I needed..."

Rabbit looked in the mirror, twisting this way and that, trying to gauge the effect of the fluffy skirt. Of course, it was too small, but...

He heard footsteps approaching and jammed the dress hastily into the closet. Paige came around the doorway and sighed.

"Get out of my room, Rabbit. I like you, but you don't go into people's rooms without permission."

"I know... but..."

"But what?"

He blinked. It was silly. The idea of a big, tough robut like him wanting to wear a dress...

"I was waitin' for ya, baby," he purred, pulling her against him. "Ya wanna go to bed?"

"You got that from a movie, Rabbit," she said with a laugh. "You can't even... y'know... Let's not even go there..."

"Your lips say that but..."

"Just... don't, okay?" She kissed him lightly, the same as always. Too hard and she'd split her lip... "I'm on thin ice as it is, fraternizing with one of the automatons."

"Fraternizing? That's nothin'. You wanna _really_ fraternize..."

"Oh, stop it! Go on, I'm off my shift so I'm going to change clothes."

"Alright... ya gonna wear the... y'know, the pink dress?"

"Y'know, I think I will. Why?"

"Oh, I... just think ya look real pretty in it."

"Thank you, Rabbit."

She gave him another light kiss and pushed him toward the doorway. Rabbit walked out with a puff of steam.

Paige, looking after him, admired the effect of the corset vest and tight trousers. Very nice. Sam said it was effeminate, but she just thought it was hot. Especially with that sassy little wiggle he'd recently developed.

As she put up her changing curtain, she reflected on his little joke. A guy in his girlfriend's room, waiting for her, acts all surprised when she walks in, suddenly wants to sleep with her... What movie was that from again? The only one she could think of was Tootsie. The part where he was about to try on her dress...

She stiffened, looking toward her closet. The pink dress was off-kilter...

"Nah," she murmured, pulling it out and starting on her buttons.

 

December 2013 -

"This can't go on much longer, Peter..."

The Spine was carrying Rabbit's leg in one hand. On the opposite shoulder, he carried Rabbit.

"Oh, what now?"

"The wiggle!" The Spine barked. "He won't stop doing it and he just about shook himself to pieces! He made it to the van before he finally managed to walk his leg off... And another thing, he's lost his goggles somewhere, at least, so he says, and wouldn't even put on the top hat this time, and gave Mr. Reed that stupid foam cowboy hat..." The Spine puffed steam. "Actually, I hope he keeps the idiotic thing..."

"None of this is serious, Spine. Well, except for the leg. Is he shut down?"

"Well, naturally! The screams were enough to shatter two windows! I just hope none of the fans have hearing damage."

"Ugh! No, then we'd be held liable..."

"Your concern is touching." The Spine, despite his irritation, gently lowered his brother onto the table and strapped him into place. He put the leg rather pathetically into position beside the other.

"So..." Peter said, as he and Carolina began to gather the tools to make repairs. "You sick of it yet?"

"Yes, I just said..."

"No, not Rabbit. I mean that thing on your face."

The Spine's expression settled into a long-suffering stare. He stroked the facial hair almost protectively. Peter expected a stern retort, but after a long moment, The Spine mumbled, "Yes. Please remove it..."

"That bad?"

"It... was the fans. They said I looked like Evil Spine..."

Carolina snickered and The Spine sighed a long plume of steam.

"Did they?" Peter asked, his mask hiding his amusement.

"I was selling CDs, don't ask me," she murmured, grinning.

Peter gave The Spine a small bottle of solvent. "I have to fix Rabbit. You can take care of the caterpillar."

"It's a goatee..."

"I know, I was being a dork. Go on, we have to get to work."

The Spine stumped out, passing Hatchworth along the way.

"What is the matter with Miss Rabbit, Papa?" Hatchworth asked.

"Hatchworth, when are you going to get it..."

"Get what, Papa?"

"Well, I'm not your papa, but I guess if you want to call me that..." He found it rather touching. Hatchy had called him that ever since he'd repaired him... "Rabbit isn't a girl, Hatchworth."

"I know no one else calls her that, but she acts like a girl."

" _He_ has gotten pretty flamboyant but the best I can figure is that it's because of that wire I plugged in back in 2010. I unplugged it a couple of months ago but he hasn't changed a bit! I thought it was some old cabaret show protocol, maybe some drag show bit from vaudeville... If it was, it must have completely reinstalled and there's no removing it now."

"Oh, boy," Carolina sighed. "Well, the fans eat it up. I even find it kinda sexy. In a weirdly uncomfortable sort of way..."

"Weirdly uncomfortable ways make Rabbit happy," Hatchworth observed, sitting carefully in a chair. "But are you sure Rabbit is not a lady?"

"Look at him, Hatchy!"

"Yes, Papa. That is a masculine body. But we are automatons. I could be a lady if I really wanted."

"Do you?" Peter asked, bemused.

"No, I like myself the way I am. That is the greatest love of all."

"Been listening to old music again?" he asked as they stripped Rabbit to begin the repairs.

"I have much to catch up on. I have been listening to boring 80s pop in order to understand the music The Spine has been writing."

Carolina snorted with laughter. Peter had to admit that was pretty funny.

"Well, listen to the Beatles, too, if you really want some insight into The Spine's music."

"Oh. If I have to..."

"No, you don't have to. I was joking... well, sort of. He does like them. Or you could listen to David Bowie..."

"I will study all of them while you work." Hatchworth's eyes dimmed and Peter and Carolina started to reattach the leg.

After an afternoon of steady work, Rabbit was patched together. But it was just that... a patch job. He could barely walk.

"Rabbit, look..." Peter said carefully. "We have to replace parts, okay? Your hip assembly is wide set, whether by design or gradually loosening I can't tell. Either way, it's getting looser every time you come in here. That's why your leg came off! With your weight and the boiler and all, you need support."

"The Spine has a boiler, too..." Rabbit muttered, rubbing his long fingers together.

"But he's better maintained and more logically constructed. Your framework looks like it was thrown together, with parts added in as an afterthought. It was never meant to hold up that weight for 100+ years... Really, I don't get how the Colonel could have built something so unstable..."

Rabbit glared defiantly and Peter cringed. Oops... he'd criticized the most beloved Pappy...

"I'm fine the way I am!" Rabbit roared. He looked down, his face contorting.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"No..."

"Then..."

"I'm... I-I-I-I'm fine just like I am... I'm okay the way Pa-Pa-Pappy made me... I'm okay... I don't need any new parts, I don't need anything fixed, I'm alright!"

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself..." Peter murmured uncomfortably. "What's wrong, Rabbit? Why are you trying so hard to be just okay?"

"I-I-I don't wanna talk about it. Butt out."

"Come on, it sounds like it's really eating away at you..."

"Give it a rest, willya?"

"I can't have a depressed automaton just running around to concerts, trying to destroy himself!" Peter snapped at last. "Just man up and tell me..."

"Stop it!" Rabbit screamed. "Shut up and leave me the Hell alone!" He got up with effort and limped out of the lab without a backward glance.

Peter stared after him. What had just happened?

"There's nothing for it, Peter," Carolina sighed. "We have to plan the upgrades or he's gonna have to be wheeled into concerts. You know it. If we install it, he's not going to rip it out, is he? An entire pelvic assembly?"

"I honestly can't guarantee he won't," Peter sighed. "If we could just find the schematics! If we can show him a paper that his Pappy made, indicating that everything we install is according to his specifications..."

"But those haven't been seen since... well, not in living memory. So I'm told."

Peter nodded. "I scoured the whole manor when I was a kid. He was having trouble even then, and dad said..."

"Is it not in the vaults?" Hatchworth said abruptly.

"Argh! You startled me... sorry, I thought you were in stasis..." Peter stopped and looked at the automaton. "No, all that was in there was you and that baby giraffe... Wait, did you say, vaults? As in, with an S on it?"

Hatchworth smiled. "I did say that. That is the plural of vault."

"I know that, Hatchy! Are you telling me there are more vaults?"

"Why, yes, Papa. There are two."

"I never saw another vault!" Peter cried.

"It is right beside mine. I doubt it could have been removed."

"The Spine, Rabbit and Jon never mentioned it."

"We did not use them much. Until I had my little accident."

"Carolina?"

She was already punching a message into her phone.

Five minutes later, they were down in the basement with Steve Negrete, Matt Smith, a sledgehammer and a crowbar. Hatchworth indicated where the vault had been back when he had been placed inside his. It was true that there was a section of wall there that didn't really match the surrounding ones. Steve felt carefully along it, pressing his fingers to every crack and knocking gently, listening.

They all heard it. Hollow, in a spot that should have been solid. Without so much as a glance back at Peter, Steve swung his sledgehammer right through the wall.

"Dang it, Steve!" cried Peter as the others shielded their faces from the flying debris. "I never said..."

He stopped short. Steve was already shining a keychain flashlight through the hole. There was a rusty metal handle...

Carolina was immediately sent to bring The Spine while the others got to work pulling down the wall. By the time The Spine, still peeling bits of glue from his chin, had joined them, they had revealed a rusty vault door just like the one that had shielded the manor from Hatchworth's Blue Matter leak for decades.

"Spine, you think you can get it open?"

"Isn't there a lock? A combination?"

"If there is, it's long since lost. But so was Hatchy's... and this one is rustier."

The Spine nodded, cracked his metal knuckles with a sound like artillery firing, and caught hold of the door handle. It popped off in a puff of rust. He picked up the crowbar and wedged it against the hinge.

"Stand clear," he intoned. Hatchworth stepped forward to help, and the humans moved up the basement stairs to wait. There was a creak, a growl of effort from The Spine, and a deafening boom. A cloud of dust rose up the stairs. They waved it away as they hurried down to look.

The Spine was picking up the vault door and propping it against the wall. Inside the vault was a crate.

"Oh, man, this is exciting!" Matt said with a grin as Hatchworth pulled out the crate.

"I feel like Indiana Jones," Steve chuckled. "I know I've got a whip somewhere."

The Spine grinned at them and tipped his fedora. They chuckled.

Steve took the crowbar and popped open the crate.

"Paper. Well, the adventure is over," he sighed.

But Peter cried excitedly, "Spine! Can you bring this upstairs?"

Once the crate had been placed in the library, Peter sank to his knees and reached into it, pulling out a yellowed sheet. "Saw blade measurements... shoulder assembly extension required..."

They all leaned in, almost as one, as he pulled out another.

"Hip measurement sufficient to support new fittings for approximately fifty years..."

"What is all this, Peter?" asked The Spine. "These sound like schematics for Rabbit's weapons..."

"Some of them, yes..."

Another paper. "Male emulator chip active. Female emulator chip is dormant until reconnected. It continues collecting data but cannot communicate with central processor. Removal would potentially damage brain functions. What?"

"Look at this!" cried The Spine, pulling out a folded paper. "Plans for musical automaton mark 1 - female!" he read.

"Female..." murmured Carolina.

"Female..."

They turned as one. Rabbit was leaning heavily against the door frame, eyes wide.

"Rabbit... I'm sorry..." Peter stammered. "We needed to find out how to repair you properly, the way Colonel Walter intended, and... are you okay?"

Rabbit looked at him with oily tears starting down his cheeks. He slowly smiled.

"That explains a lot..." he said thickly.

 

"I thought you'd be upset," Peter said as he re-examined the chip. There was nothing to glean from it except that it was dark; as near as he could tell, it had emptied its contents and shut down.

"I woulda been... Only now I understand. I thought I was goin' crazy..."

"Automatons can't go crazy."

"Explain The Spine then."

"Very funny," muttered The Spine. "Get some new jokes, Rabbit."

"Alright, here's a laugh for ya. I'm a woman."

"Well, a robot who looks like..." The Spine began. He frowned. "But you're not... look at you."

"Look at _you_ ," Rabbit snapped back.

"Don't be petty..."

"Hush, Spine. Rabbit... has this been going on since I plugged this thing back in? You've been acquiring feminine programming?"

"Yeah!" Rabbit cried frantically. "I wa-wa-was so scared! I thought I was finally fallin' off my perch! I didn't want you to check my parts and decide to scrap me..."

His... or was it her? voice trembled with emotion. The Spine looked at Rabbit uncomfortably.

"I don't understand this, Peter. I have an older brother. But I don't? What does that make Rabbit, then?"

"Rabbit is Rabbit. But... it looks like over one hundred years of feminine programming has become part of his matrix. And that Colonel Walter originally designed Rabbit to be female. I suppose the war..."

"Of course," The Spine sighed. "He made changes to all of us for the war. Weapons, directives... Rabbit was quiet and polite in the beginning. Can you believe that?"

"Hey! I was new, alright?"

"I'm not saying it was a bad thing," The Spine said dryly.

"Wait, so Rabbit really _is_ a girl?" called Matt. The rest of them had wandered into the lab after the discovery.

"Rabbit has acquired female programming. Why is this so difficult to understand?"

"Because it's the weirdest thing I've ever heard," Steve said casually. "And I don't say that lightly."

"Come on, the concept isn't new. Transgender people..."

"Are transgender people. Felt different their whole lives. This is a robot who was a guy, and honest to goodness guy, and now..."

"No, I was made to be a girl!" Rabbit cried. "I-I-I'm a girl!"

They fell silent. This time it sank in.

"So what you're saying is, you don't want me to remove the programming?" Peter said softly.

"What? Remove it?" Rabbit cried.

"Well, yeah. I can go in, comb through, find recently added code and try to strip out most of the corrupted..."

"Corrupted?" gasped Rabbit.

"Well, _altered_ code. I mean, unless it's completely overwritten the masculine protocols... which you are still acquiring, incidentally. You'd return to the way you were."

Rabbit stared at the ceiling.

"Rabbit?"

"No," she whispered.

"No?"

"No. Don't remove it. Take out the male chip."

"But... Do you realize the level of change this involves? A full chassis overhaul, repainting... And there's no way any of that can be done without doing major work on your skeleton, joints and servos... You're falling apart! We need to sink available funds into renovating your base structure and chassis but..." Peter shook his head. "I don't feel right about messing around with your programming when your body is falling apart."

"I'm already reprogrammed, nimrod! Pappy d-d-d-did it and you plugged it in! I felt something the very first day... I thought I was in love with Paige! But after a year or two I started to figure it out, and today y-y-you found the answer to all my questions! I was designed to be a girl and I feel like a girl and you can go ahead and do any maintenance or replace any part ya want on one condition..."

"Which is?"

"Take out the male chip and make me a freakin' girl like Pappy wanted!"

"You still have all that male programming... You'd be a funny sort of woman."

"What's that supposed to mean? Girls can't ever act like boys?"

"My sister is an auto mechanic," Carolina said. They all turned to look at her. "Just sayin'."

"You don't just want to be a woman... you're telling me you are a woman. Am I getting that right?"

"'Bout time, bonehead."

"Steve!"

"Well..."

"Rabbit? Is that it?"

Rabbit nodded. "I wasn't... I didn't think I was. But I am. I know I am."

Peter sat down on his work stool and sighed. "I guess that's the answer then. The female protocols have overwritten the male. A few feminine inclinations wouldn't equal a complete identity reassignment. Colonel Walter's chip was a powerful thing. Why wouldn't he plug it in after the war?"

"Tomboys weren't really considered proper girls back then, I guess," Carolina said. "Not a big deal now."

"Alright. Then Rabbit's a woman. Wow."

"That's what I've been tryin' to say, dummins. I didn't just get some girly ideas. I been feeling like wearin' dresses and actin' all sweet and..." Her voice dropped to a whisper," I want boobies..."

"I'm done here."

The Spine walked out. Rabbit stared after him. Her chin trembled. Steve Negrete abruptly jogged out after him.

"Rabbit... I'm sure that was just the bit about the... boobs."

"And Steve?" Rabbit said, oily tears starting.

"Going to slap some sense into him. He'll adjust, okay?" Peter said gently.

"So... you'll do it?" Rabbit sobbed.

"You're willing to let me do a complete overhaul on you, Rabbit. I can't pass up a deal like that."

Rabbit lay her head back on the table and shook with sobs. Carolina sniffled and hurried over to her.

"Come on, now. Big girls don't cry, right?" she said, wiping Rabbit's face with a shop towel.

Rabbit grinned painfully. "I hate that song," she giggled, a bit hysterically.

Carolina smiled. "Me, too."

"Welp..." Peter said. "It is what it is. I have some schematics to go over. Oh, just one thing..."

He reached carefully into Rabbit's still opened head plate. Rabbit jerked suddenly and went limp.

"Peter!" Carolina cried.

Rabbit restarted and looked around with wide eyes. "What happened?" she said softly.

"You sound different..." Carolina said, blinking at her.

"I unplugged the male emulator. I didn't think the effect would be so dramatic. It'll stop adding but it won't remove what's already there. That's part of who you are. I'll pull it out later, okay?"

"Okay," Rabbit murmured.

Peter snapped her head plate shut. "Take it easy for now. Carolina?"

"I'll stay with her."

"Thanks."

He walked out as the others walked over to Rabbit. He heard Matt say, "Does this mean that you're gonna be nice and sweet and boring?"

"Check yehr underwear drawer in the mo-mo-morning and you'll find out, bright boy."

Peter chuckled and stopped short. The Spine was standing right in front of him. Steve nodded and slipped past them into the lab.

"I hope you're coming back to apologize," Peter told The Spine.

The robot nodded. "I... knew something was different, but... I don't know how to take this, Peter. I need time..."

"Then tell him that. Oops... I mean, tell _her_ that."

The Spine looked at him for a long moment. "So it isn't just me."

"Not at all. I won't lie. It's pretty sudden, even with the behavioral changes. And I liked Rabbit the way he was. I'm gonna miss him. I just need time to get used to _her_. If that makes sense..."

"Perfectly. I may have my problems getting along with Rabbit, but so many times over the years it's been us against the world. We fought side by side in all those wars. He always had my back, even when he couldn't fire another shot. We were stripped down to our bare framework in 'Nam and all he did was worry about me and Jon. You didn't know Rabbit then... all you've seen is the moody, broken down copper robot who acts like Alvin the damned Chipmunk. I... I feel like he's dying and someone I don't know is taking his place."

He rubbed at his eyes with his fingertips. Peter sighed.

"But... as sudden as this is, if you think about it, you've been getting to know her for three years. Rabbit didn't change _that_ much, did she?"

"She," The Spine said emphatically.

"Other than that."

"I guess not. He... She's still stubborn, petulant, whiny, rude..."

"See? You do know her."

The Spine laughed softly. "Yes, I guess I do."

"Rabbit always had your back, Spine. Guess what she needs now?"

"Her brother." Without another word, The Spine walked back into the lab. Two seconds later, he walked back out.

"Spine?"

"They're talking about cup size," he groaned quietly.

"Be strong, buddy."

"Right." He straightened his tie and marched back in.

 

January, 2014

 

Rabbit drummed her fingers. The Spine sighed. Rabbit opened her mouth.

"You look just fine."

"I wasn't gonna ask that!"

"Then you must have finally thought of something new to say..."

"But... It's just that you said this wig made me look like Augra!*"

"It was just a joke..."

"Some joke!"

"And it's temporary. You said so yourself."

Rabbit wiggled the cyberdreads irritably. 

"Time to go on, fellows," Hatchworth said.

"Hatchy..." The Spine began.

"Don't sweat it, Spine," Rabbit interrupted.

"But..."

"If it was anyone else, I'd be pissed off. But it's Hatchy, buddy. He was ca-ca-callin' me a girl even when I was a guy."

"He was?" 

"Yep."

"Ah. Well, come on. It should be easier performing Captain with your new servos."

"Yeah..." Rabbit didn't move.

"Rabbit."

"Spine." She drummed her fingers on the table beside her so fast that they became a blur. "I... I ca-ca-can't seem to move..."

"Yes, you can."

"I can't, I really can't, oh my giddy aunt Spine I can't freaking move!"

"Your hand is moving, dummins!"

"Is it?" she squeaked. There were little cracks forming in the table surface. The Spine grabbed her hand and held it still. Her leg began to thump up and down.

"Oh, for the love of... Not now, okay? You got this far... I'd pick you up and carry you out but the Spabbit tags would explode by midnight."

Rabbit burst out laughing. The Spine grinned and pulled her to her feet, straight into a crushing hug.

She thumped him in the back. "Thanks, ya jerk."

"Come on." He let her go and turned toward the stage. "If you weren't too weird for them before, you won't be now. Besides, there's Hatchy to distract them. He and I have a new routine** that should draw attention away from those ears."

Rabbit followed him as he approached the curtain where Hatchworth stood peering out. "You bashin' the ears now?"

The Spine's eyes widened. "No, I'm just saying that..."

"Steam Powered Giraffe!"

"Oops! Gotta go!" The Spine snatched up his guitar and headed out onto the stage.

"We'll talk about this later..." Rabbit growled.

She heard the crowd roar. Hatchworth stumped out next to enthusiastic applause.

Rabbit stared after them.

Her pappy had made her this way. He had intended this. But the people... they didn't know that.

"I trust you... Pappy."

She picked up her new keytar, straightened her skirt, and forced herself to walk out.

There was thunderous applause.

**Author's Note:**

> * Google it. And yeah, I didn't care for the cyberdreads. Let's just say that Bunny has refined and streamlined the look considerably.
> 
> ** Steampunk Symposium 2014 is the first concert I know of that The Spine hung Hatchy up and gave him the pinata treatment.
> 
> Confession: I am one of those who will always prefer male!Rabbit. Big shock, I know. I've got my own issues. But I was at the concert where Bunny first appeared as female!Rabbit... she walked right by me at one point and made a quick comment and I just about fainted because A: Bunny walked by and made a comment and I have terrible social anxiety and B: Because in that outfit, at 6'1" plus ears, Bunny Bennett is an Amazon. A freaking Valkyrie. Attack of the 50 foot Woman. And I'm 5'8" and not used to feeling short. Anyway, when she walked out onto the stage, she was met with the usual "Yay, it's Rabbit!" response plus a little boost because they wanted to show support. You had all sorts there, people 100% in support of the change, people who may not quite align with the whole transgender thing as far as their personal beliefs go, people who frankly hadn't heard a thing about it. And the response was, "Yay, it's Rabbit!" And that's pretty danged sweet. You don't have to agree to feel that it's up to Bunny how to work it, because it has become clear since then that Bunny had decided to get that pair of headlights she's always talking about and there's no way they'd fit in that sexy man-vest, so something had to give. I hope they at least got the vests cleaned and stored for the glorious museum they want to have someday. ;) I sometimes joke about Rabbit planning to sell them on eBay.


End file.
